View Outside My Window

We look out so many windows every day.
But are we just looking, or do we actually see?

Embracing vulnerability - how’s my bio for an upcoming conference?

As I explore the depths of vulnerability more and more, I realize that in order to further my growth, I’d like to explore vulnerability in terms of asking others for help and opening myself to help from others. I’m an aquarian. I’m self-reliant. I’m used to marching to the beat of my own drum. And I’m more single than not. All this equates to going at it alone with most things. While I like it this way - it’s comfortable - I know and feel that an important next step in my growth is opening myself to asking others for help and giving others the opportunity to give help and support. This brings up a fear reaction in me and so I know that this is my truth. Anyways, more about this later and onto my request for help.

I am going to England at the end of the month and have to write a short bio about myself. It’s important to me to ride the fine line between academia and being mySelf… I love and accept mySelf and am mySelf in all environments. Plus, the re-love-ution knows no boundaries. So here’s what I’ve got… including the pic I plan on submitting. What are your thoughts? I’d like some feedback. Yes, I am asking for help. Leave it as a comment here or on facebook or email me at admin@makeadent.ca. Thanks!!!!!

“Anna Chudyk is a third year doctoral candidate in the Experimental Medicine program at the University of British Columbia; she is working under the supervision of Dr. Heather McKay. Anna obtained an Honors Bachelor degree in Health Sciences in 2006 and a Masters in Epidemiology and Biostatistics in 2008, both from the University of Western Ontario. Her research interests include the built environment, travel behaviour, and physical activity, all within the context of aging. For her doctoral research, Anna conducted a cross-sectional study investigating the association between the built environment, mobility and health of 161 financially-vulnerable older adults living in neighbourhoods across Metro Vancouver. Anna hopes that the results of her doctoral work will help older adults maintain their functional autonomy and maximize their health by providing more insight on the characteristics of communities that support active ageing and ageing in place. In her spare time Anna loves to: take walks in the forest, as inspired by one of her favorite authors – Henry David Thoreau; swim in the ocean; meditate; climb trees; practice yoga; and engage in existential inquiries.”

Photo by Jean Cueta Another full moon is upon us, which means that it’s the perfect time to reflect on all that’s transpired since the last full moon. Think about the past month - what are you grateful for? What would you like to call forth into the next month? Something I’ve been focusing on this past moon cycle is daily recognition of and gratefulness for occurrences – big and small – and especially the wonderful people in my life. I’ve also been meditating on attracting and retaining individuals into my life that are full of vulnerability, love, wonder, zest, focus, joy, playfulness, high frequency and energy, as well as that are reliable, direct and genuine in thought and action. I am bringing this forward into the next moon cycle, as well as asking for: (a) even more applied focus, and (b) an even deeper connection with mySelf that I can then: use as a platform for deeper connections with others; as well as to replace fear and self-doubt with high-frequency vibrations and security that comes from Self-love. Love and acceptance of others begins with acceptance and love of Self. I was hoping to write a prayer to the moon to mark this cycle, but I haven’t made the time to sit down and feel the words that come… nor have I been around a paper when they have come. So instead, here’s a poem written by Mary Oliver that speaks to recognition of and gratitude for all of life’s wonders, as well as to surrounding ourselves with others that are as light hearted as they are deep-thinking. Mysteries, Yes Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelousto be understood. How grass can be nourishing in themouths of the lambs.How rivers and stones are foreverin allegiance with gravitywhile we ourselves dream of rising.How two hands touch and the bondswill never be broken.How people come, from delight or thescars of damage,to the comfort of a poem. Let me keep my distance, always, from thosewho think they have the answers. Let me keep company always with those who say“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,and bow their heads. ~ Mysteries, by Mary Oliver ~ Want to READ MORE? Visit my blog at www.makeadent.ca

Photo by Jean Cueta

Another full moon is upon us, which means that it’s the perfect time to reflect on all that’s transpired since the last full moon. Think about the past month - what are you grateful for? What would you like to call forth into the next month? Something I’ve been focusing on this past moon cycle is daily recognition of and gratefulness for occurrences – big and small – and especially the wonderful people in my life. I’ve also been meditating on attracting and retaining individuals into my life that are full of vulnerability, love, wonder, zest, focus, joy, playfulness, high frequency and energy, as well as that are reliable, direct and genuine in thought and action. I am bringing this forward into the next moon cycle, as well as asking for: (a) even more applied focus, and (b) an even deeper connection with mySelf that I can then: use as a platform for deeper connections with others; as well as to replace fear and self-doubt with high-frequency vibrations and security that comes from Self-love. Love and acceptance of others begins with acceptance and love of Self.

I was hoping to write a prayer to the moon to mark this cycle, but I haven’t made the time to sit down and feel the words that come… nor have I been around a paper when they have come. So instead, here’s a poem written by Mary Oliver that speaks to recognition of and gratitude for all of life’s wonders, as well as to surrounding ourselves with others that are as light hearted as they are deep-thinking.

Mysteries, Yes

Truly, we live with mysteries too marvelous
to be understood.

How grass can be nourishing in the
mouths of the lambs.
How rivers and stones are forever
in allegiance with gravity
while we ourselves dream of rising.
How two hands touch and the bonds
will never be broken.
How people come, from delight or the
scars of damage,
to the comfort of a poem.

Let me keep my distance, always, from those
who think they have the answers.

Let me keep company always with those who say
“Look!” and laugh in astonishment,
and bow their heads.

~ Mysteries, by Mary Oliver ~

Want to READ MORE? Visit my blog at www.makeadent.ca

Remember, remember, never forget

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Sometimes when I sit and close my eyes
I go to a place
That feels like a warped vortex
Expanding infinitely
While at the same time holding me tight
Almost like a womb
Not that I quite remember what the womb felt like
Yet at the same time I do
I think it felt like this

And while it expands infinitely
And I dissolve into nothing
At the same time I feel like a very small point
Condensed so compactly
I feel nothing and everything at the same time

And I sit there
And I sit there
And I feel so loved
And so safe
Until I’m gently released
And so I leave
I don’t know why I leave
Maybe I’m just there to re-fuel
And re-connect with that place
That’s slowly shining a light on fear
Connecting the essence of love
And saying gently
“Remember, remember, never forget.”
What does it mean?
I’m not sure.
And I am afraid.
I don’t want to lose this place.

And then I breathe
And go into the place of warmth
That I can now access here
The place that feels the depths of joy
And the heights of sorrow
And feels and expresses it all
Then lets go
And whispers
Remember, remember, never forget.
What?
I don’t know…
Maybe who I am.

WANT TO READ MORE? VISIT www.makeadent.ca

Today I wear a dress that makes me ponder what it’d be like if dinosaurs and lemurs mated… and spend time with people that talk about existentialism and giggle

Today I wear a dress that makes me ponder what it’d be like if dinosaurs and lemurs mated… and spend time with people that talk about existentialism and giggle

Fog to waterfalls

Oh how the pieces fall
How the sky falls
How it all falls
Like rainbow kissed magic straws
If we just let it come into the mist of the waterfall
That we once thought was the fog known as unknown
READ MORE: www.makeadent.ca

The spring wind caresses Embodied with the remnants of autumn’s past And I weep rainbows As it whispers Release into me Only through passing Does every moment come READ MORE: www.makeadent.ca

The spring wind caresses
Embodied with the remnants of autumn’s past
And I weep rainbows
As it whispers
Release into me
Only through passing
Does every moment come
READ MORE: www.makeadent.ca

An adventure with a grandma I met on the street

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I spent the last two hours of my work day on Tuesday on an adventure with a grandma I met on the street. The afternoon started off normal enough – I was stepping out from my office to get some fresh air when I saw a grandma wrestling with a map in her hands so I stopped to try and give her directions. She was flustered because she was trying to settle a medical bill and clearly had no clue where she was going. So I paused. Then asked her if she wanted me to walk her to her destination. I assured her that I didn’t mind, that I didn’t have anywhere I needed to be. That was sort of a lie. I have data to clean and a manuscript to write, with a deadline that’s coming up fast. I also had plans to volunteer that night and really wanted to squeeze in yoga beforehand. Ok. To be honest, I didn’t have much unscheduled time to play with. But do we ever really have anywhere that we need to be? So off we went.

The building we made our way to turned out to be an unmarked skyrise and grandma didn’t have an actual room number that she was looking for. So I went in with her and found an office suite with a nice secretary that was willing to call around the hospital for us. A few phone calls later, turns out Grandma had been given the wrong info – where we needed to be was actually near where we had started. So back we went, stopping at a bench to take a rest. Grandma is 93, but boy was she kickin’. We talked about everything and anything really. Mostly grandma talked and I made some jokes here and there. Old people seem to love my jokes. When we eventually arrived back at our hospital destination, I took grandma in and helped her find the room she was looking for. Then I asked her if she was going to be alright, and she shyly asked if I could stay and help her inquire about her bill. Of course I could. So I advocated for her. And then back towards the exit we went, stopping again to take a break before heading to the bus stop. That’s when we first exchanged names. Details. Details. Good thing grandma was with it, because I totally zoned out for a second and almost sent her off on a bus going in the wrong direction. Oopsies. As the bus arrived grandma (whose name was Helga by the way) and I hugged and she slipped me a $10 as a thank you and to, “put towards my cab ride when I go on my Europe trip.” I could tell it meant a lot to her to give something to me, and so I took the $10. I will put it towards my trip. And that was that.

I went back to my office, packed up my stuff, and had to bolt to make it to my volunteer gig. I didn’t have time to finish my work and I definitely didn’t have time to go to yoga. But you know what? The work was there when I came back the next day… and Helga more than filled the soul connection that yoga brings. What a random string of events. What a random encounter. What a random end to the day. But you know what? It sure feels good when two hearts connect.


Want to READ MORE? Visit my blog at www.makeadent.ca

Is the world trying to tell you something?

I recently received some insightful feedback about the significance of crows. Tracy came across my post (click to read) when surfing the internet for tattoo ideas and here is what she had to say:

“Hey there,
I came across your site on the search for crow tattoo inspiration. I just wanted to share my crow experience with you.
In November of 2011, I was in India doing my yoga teacher training. I had just quit my “good job” back in BC and decided on a new path…yoga and moving to Australia.
About half-way (maybe more) into my training, I took a step out of the dorm and as I walked out from under the awning, a crow swooped down over my head. Startled, I stood there for a couple minutes. I carried on and the next thing I knew, this same crow swooped back over me. My heart was pounding. Again, I continued on to the tea tree, grabbed my morning Chai, and returned back to the dorm. As I started to walk up some steps, I saw from the corner of my eye, this crow coming back for me as it swooped over me one last time and then sat in a tree. I looked at it and said out loud, “What do you want from me?!”
I told a few people about this and was told various things such as, “It’s a bad omen,” and “It means magic,” and a couple other things. I tried to let this experience settle but a couple days later, I asked this very wise Indian woman what crows meant in Indian culture. Well there is oodles of significance. There are a few stories but what I will share with you is the relevant story.
She told me that this crow is acting as a messenger. It’s telling me that the choices I have made my past life and this current life is exactly where I need to be. I am doing exactly everything I should be doing and to carry on living the life I am choosing for myself. I had goosebumps and tears. This woman did not know me. And yet, here I was a 26-year old girl who left her good life in Canada to start anew in Australia. This experience and her words meant the world to me. It was reaffirming to know that I am doing what I am supposed to be doing with my life. I am making the right choices for me.
Anyway, that’s my story. And that is why crows and this specific crow is significant to me.
Much love, peace and happiness to you. Here’s to living life with an open heart and open mind.


Tracy”

Check out Tracy’s blog (http://yoginiatlarge.blogspot.com.au/) for a glimpse into her own journey. Filled with lots of photos, interesting stories, and more insights!

Are you sabotaging yourself?

I’m half-way through a booked called, “The Big Leap” by Gay Hendricks. The premise is simple – the vast majority of us have rate-limiting beliefs that cause us to sabotage ourselves when things are going very well in our life. This is caused by beliefs we have developed throughout our lives that lead us to believe that it is not realistic to have a life where we are generally happy and that we don’t deserve all of the abundance that life can offer. I picked up this book because I’ve begun to genuinely believe that happiness is our birth-right, yet despite this fact, I’ve recognized the following self-destructive patterns in my life:

  1. As much as I strive to be the best at anything I do, I find myself holding back more often than not. This stems back to being the “smart” kid in childhood and skipping a grade. I learned very quickly that this brings about resentment, mean-spiritedness, and social-isolation from the other kids. I’m not a kid anymore, but I still find myself getting paranoid when I think shining a little too bright causes insecurity in others.
  2. Sabotaging romantic relationships. Still examining this one… although a lot of it stems back to a prior relationship where I felt like I lost my ability to self-express and a fear of letting someone in and then having to hold back who I am in order to make my partner happy and pacify my partner’s insecurities. Writing this out is therapeutic. I need to let go and stop punishing myself for decisions of the past.
  3. A fear of loss. The more invested I am in something, the more I work for and gain, the more I care about it, and then the more there is to lose. But happiness is our birthright. And if Source/God/whatever you believe in is love, then why would our creator want anything other than love for us? I need to look into this fear more because it is a dominant one in my life. Right now, the roots of it I think are in 1) not fully trusting that I can “keep up” and actually be the person I want to be without buckling under the responsibilities; and 2) my confusion about how non-attachment plays in – if one of the keys to Enlightenment is non-attachment (possessions, people, your “identity”) then wouldn’t the ultimate test of that be to lose everything you prize? But if God is love, and our birthright is happiness, then that’s not really congruent with my last statement. And why would God be testing us anyways? Doesn’t seem like something Someone Who is unconditionally loving would do. Maybe we’re the only ones testing ourselves. May it’s all in my head and the whole point to life is to experience as much as you can and want to and to learn about yourself and ultimately God/Source through this. I’m not sure – I am going to park this stream of existential questioning and wait for people to come into my life that might shed some insight through dialogue.

So that’s me and the rate-limiting beliefs and underlying-triggers that I’ve recognized. I’ll write about what the book suggests for over-coming rate-limiting beliefs in another post and leave you to reflect on what beliefs, thought-patterns, and cycles you repeat that keep you from having the life you want and being all you want to be. 

WANT TO READ MORE? VISIT MY BLOG AT www.makeadent.ca